The Culture of Sex - It’s Never Perfect
photo credit: USC
by Juan Miguel Bugayong (Student Health Blogger)
High school health class often serves as a crucible for adolescent hormones, as teens find themselves seated alongside one another, grappling with notions of sex, intimacy, and relationships. My own upbringing in a deeply Catholic environment meant that my teacher approached the subject with caution, emphasizing that sex was to be approached with solemnity and reserved for a context of maturity or marriage. It was framed as a sacred act, laden with moral implications. However, this perspective, though rooted in sincere beliefs, often left a void of practical understanding. The reality is, our experiences and perceptions of sex are heavily influenced by our cultural and personal backgrounds, shaping our views in nuanced ways. It's crucial to recognize the overall culture of sex; it’s a dynamic interplay of tradition, belief systems, and evolving societal norms. Through empathetic exploration, we can begin to unravel the tapestry of human sexuality, realizing that no single perspective holds the definitive truth.
Everyone remembers high school health class, hormones running rampant as teens sit next to each other to learn about sex, intimacy, and relationships having already formed a very skewed version of what sex is in their heads. I came from a very Catholic background, and my teacher constantly expressed to my peers and I that sex was to be avoided without more context or information. It was a sin and shouldn't even be thought of as anything else until one is “mature” or married. I understand that the topic of sex can differ among many different backgrounds, with many different upbringings. Therefore, it’s important to understand that, with a keen sensitivity to empathy, we can all explore more about sex, and more about each other in vastly different ways.
But the pressures of sex aren't merely the societal pressure of an educator or religion for me, it was more of the social misconception of sex as a whole from people my age. Sex was regarded as a rite of passage, a necessary experience that needed to be perfect. I can’t blame my past self, nor the past selves of my peers, as we were constantly surrounded by societal pressures to have, or engage in sexual interactions especially by the societal pressures from pop culture, social media, and TV.
When it came to figuring out relationships for the first time in movies, TV shows, and even social media, there was implied pressure about how college students should, and would, act. I now see that these initial exposures stripped away the more important notions of what I understand sex to be now. I’ve grown to love my own identity and explore this identity through new relationships as I’ve begun to grow up through college. All the media I consumed failed to mention how sex can drastically change your overall relationship to health and wellness as a whole, reaching beyond a passing coming of age moment.
And yet, at the time, as I headed toward graduation and hit the many milestones one does in high school, I began looking towards my life in college - and also, extremely scared for what college, especially college at University of Southern California, had to offer. The strong media portrayals and daunting view of USC, the party culture, the school spirit, and the overall culture that the media makes it out to be, all dawned on me. University of Southern California, ranked #6 on the “top party schools” in America list which made college out to be four years of never ending partying filled with sex, alcohol, and going out. I wasn’t completely wrong, with its reputation the nuances of hook-up culture thrive. TikTok, word of mouth, and Instagram amplifies the perception of party culture and hook-up culture at the school. Conversations about sex and new relationships dominate dorm halls, frat houses, classrooms, and dining hall debriefs. I believe that the widespread belief that this culture is an integral part of college life should actually not be cast away, but rather, explored.
When I moved into Parkside and began my college life, it was not as daunting as it seemed. Although I did find some crowds that thrived on the pressures and hook-up culture, I found that USC was a social school that celebrates identity, relationships, and finding one’s true self through varying experiences. I was surrounded by mature conversations of how sex impacts you emotionally and mentally. The conversations I experienced almost never centered on the action of sex but, rather, maintaining healthy relationships while navigating the realm of sexual experiences. This key difference blew my mind.
It was no longer a “sin” or something to be avoided, but sex, intimacy, and all key aspects of a healthy relationship should be celebrated! It was something openly talked about, shared, and explored. And it wasn’t, and shouldn't, be a high-pressure experience, but rather, something that happens naturally and with time. The biggest thing I learned in my talks, with health counselors and the circles I have surrounded myself as a college student, is this: sex is never what the media nor what anyone else makes it out to be. Sex is always going to be unique to your distinct experiences and collective memories. Sex, in every way, is going to be unique to you. It’s an expression of who you are in a very intimate sense and can be a source of discovery with identity in many ways. So, for first years or second years entering USC filled with preconceived notions about what sex can be or what should happen now that you’re in college, I welcome you to to interrogate your perceptions of sex and celebrate the very idea of it as something new to explore – just like your courses, clubs, and social relationships. From learning about bodily autonomy and connecting with another human being, to understanding relationships at a different level, there are many aspects of sex-positive experiences that break the stereotypes!
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