If College Apps Were Stressful, Grad School Isn’t Any Easier
By: Aaryan Midha
No one prepares you for the isolation of a personal statement draft late at night. You sit there with a blinking cursor in front of you, a word count that feels impossibly far away, and the intense pressure to articulate both who you are and what you hope to be within only one page of text. The reality is that for many students, the experience of applying to graduate school is one of the most emotionally challenging periods of their time in college.
While we spend much time discussing the stress associated with exams and job applications, it is critical to recognize that the process of applying to graduate school is something else entirely. Regardless of whether you are applying to medical school, law school, a master's degree program, or a PhD program, there is something unique about this process.
It happened to me personally while applying for the Master of Science in Global Medicine program at the University of Southern California. The application process is not complicated. All you need to do is write a personal statement, submit your transcripts, and get a letter of recommendation. However, when I sat down and thought about why I want to study in the United States, I realized that there are things that had influenced my decision but that I had never properly worked out, like losing my close friend to an accident caused by a drug overdose. Putting all these things into one neat essay became a kind of performance of vulnerability.
When I talked with classmates who were in the middle of their own applications, a pattern emerged. It was not the deadlines or the paperwork that weighed on them most; It was the emotional labor. Revisiting formative experiences, asking mentors for letters without feeling like a burden, and constantly comparing yourself to peers who seemed further along. One friend described the process as feeling like she was being asked to audition for her own future.
This kind of comparison is particularly difficult. When you are applying for competitive programs, every interaction seems to turn into a silent judgment about where you measure up. The other person talks about their publications, and you start wondering if what you have done in your community will be judged as equal. Your peer receives an early acceptance letter, and now you are behind schedule. These moments can chip away at your confidence, even when you know, logically, that every path looks different.
What makes the application season uniquely stressful is that it often collides with everything else. You don't get to stop being who you are, whether that is a student, researcher, leader, or full-time worker. For me, while applying to schools, I still needed to conduct my research, volunteer at Children's Hospital Los Angeles, tutor high schoolers, and study. There was no designated time for applications. They simply had to fit into whatever space was left, which often meant sleep and rest were the first things sacrificed.
Unlike a final exam, there is no end date for an application. There is the thrill of sending it out, the anxiety of waiting for a reply, and the sudden shifts of feeling due to the arrival of decisions at their own arbitrary time. That kind of prolonged uncertainty is more draining than a single intense week.
Still, I learned a few things along the way that helped, and I think they are worth sharing.
What Helped Me Get Through It
Start despite feeling unready. There will always be a sense of not being totally prepared for writing a personal statement. Starting early, even with messy notes or just a list of what was meaningful for you, removes the burden of having to have a flawless initial draft.
Discuss it with someone who isn’t applying. Your friends will be equally stressed because they are also in the process. Someone outside the experience, like a mentor or counselor, who can discuss the issue objectively, may offer you a different perspective that will be unavailable from inside the experience.
Allow yourself the freedom to feel ambivalent. There’s no problem with wanting something yet still having doubts about it. Feeling ambivalence about something doesn’t necessarily mean that the goal isn’t right for you. It’s part of considering a life-changing decision carefully.
Separate your worth from the outcome. A rejection does not mean you are not good enough. Admissions decisions reflect a narrow snapshot of who you are at one moment in time. They do not define your potential or the full scope of what you bring to a program.
Remember that a closed door is not a dead end. You can try again, or you can try later. Many students apply more than once, and the time in between often provides some of the most valuable experiences for their next application. If it was not your first-choice program or not the right cycle, that might be a signal that you need more time, not that you are on the wrong path. A "not yet" is not a "never."
Protect yourself from your own application. Be it a morning routine, a tennis game, cooking yourself a nice dinner, or even a few hours of no technology, protecting yourself from being overwhelmed by the process is essential. Having a buffer will allow you to stabilize while everything else seems so unstable.
Take advantage of available resources. USC Counseling and Mental Health Services offers individual therapy, workshops, and group sessions that can help you navigate stress during high-pressure periods. You do not need to be in crisis to reach out. Sometimes just having a space to talk through what you are feeling can be enough.
The graduate school application process asks you to be your most reflective self at a time when you are also your most stretched. That is a hard combination. But if you are in the middle of it right now, know that the difficulty you are feeling is normal. In fact, it is a sign that you are doing something that matters to you.
